The Times's front-page story is part of a tradition including great white sharks in Cornwall, killer chipmunks and runaway pigsIn pictures: classic silly season stories
There's a carp story on the front of today's Times.
No, that's not a misprint – there really is
a great big fish pictured across the top of the paper, beneath the solemn headline, "Benson, Britain's best-loved carp, 1984-2009".
And lo, just a few days into August, the silly season has arrived.
It has to be said that Valentine Low's story about Benson – a female carp, named after a hole in her dorsal fin that resembled a cigarette burn, who was caught at least 60 times – is an extremely enjoyable read.
The quote from Tony Bridgefoot of the Bluebell Lakes complex is a classic. "We are all rocked by Benson's death. She was an iconic carp. We are all still trying to come to terms with her death. Money could not have bought Benson. She had that celebrity status. I can't stress how famous she was in the angling world."
And then turn to today's Daily Telegraph, which has
a delightful story about dolphin sign language. A flop on to its side means "Let's go", a roll on to its back with tail fin waving means "Let's eat", and a rapid movement of its fins means "Let's bash out 300 words on this - there's nothing else going on".
The Sun tends to keep the silly season going all year round, but it has enjoyed a good run of "killer chipmunk" stories.
Here's a recent example – make sure you click on the graphic of the chipmunk launching itself at the lady.
The story is reminiscent of a classic tale from October 2005 – it was an Indian summer that year, clearly – when the South London Press reported that squirrels were digging up crack cocaine hidden by drug dealers.
Here's the front page that Chris Morris would be proud of.Some silly season stories are so good they have to be repeated year after year.
Back in August 2003,
there were reports that a great white shark had been seen off the coast of Devon.
The story resurfaced in July 2007, this time in Cornwall –
only to be rubbished by a Falmouth coastguard:
"There has never been a confirmed sighting of a great white off the Cornish
coast. It's utter rubbish. We have never had a shark attack down here and we
would urge people to take this with a pinch of salt. They are not the man-eating
Jaws."
Clearly, animals are the essential ingredients of classic silly season tales.
Back in 1987 there was Blackie the Donkey, saved from being crushed at a Spanish fiesta and then brought to England by the Daily Star.
Then there were the Tamworth Two, a pair of piglets who broke out of a Wiltshire abattoir and spent a week on the run in January 1998 (OK, that wasn't really the summer).
The Daily Mail bought the pigs, named them Butch and Sundance and paid for them to live at the South of England Rare Breeds Centre near Ashford, Kent.
But sometimes it's possible to contrive a magnum opus of daftness that doesn't involve beasts.
Take the Sun's classic tale from August 2005 that
Victor Meldrew had been found in space, the apotheosis of the I-saw-Jesus-in-my-toast story genre.
Here's
a collection of holy relics, Daily Mail-style.
But this is far from an exhaustive list – have you noticed any corkers this year, or do you have any favourites from silly seasons past?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/organgrinder/2009/aug/04/newspapers-silly-season-stories
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