Thursday 13 May 2021

Unimaginative internet commenters try to dismiss video of new cryptid as really big turtle


Clear, indisputable proof of a new cryptid’s existence.
Clear, indisputable proof of a new cryptid’s existence.

Last Sunday, as professional golfers blithely competed in the 2021 Wells Fargo Championship, something momentous happened: A new water monster announced itself to the world. 

In a video captured by YouTube user Ethan Davis, this mysterious cryptid is shown emerging from a pond at Charlotte, North Carolina’s Quail Hollow Club. Look at it appear, a shadowy form rising from the (probably not all that deep) depths before vanishing again once it realizes it has mistakenly shown itself on film. There’s no disputing that this clip is scientific proof of a previously unheard-of being, perhaps a distant relative of Nessie or the aquatic mutant child of Bigfoot and his latest lover, an aquatic extraterrestrial denizen of the ocean-covered Planet Glorflob.

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