Friday, 17 September 2010

Witch attempts to wake Loch Ness monster

A white witch and self-proclaimed ‘protector’ of Nessie is setting up a radio station to try and wake the monster.

17 September 2010 15:38 GMT

The high priest of the UK's white witches announced plans to set up a private pirate radio station aimed at just one listener: the Loch Ness Monster.

Paranormal researcher Kevin Carlyon, self-styled "protector" of Nessie, will blast out monster music songs on the banks of Loch Ness in a bid to summon her.

He will transmit ten hits which he believes will get her "in the mood" to make an appearance.

Mr Carlyon, from Sussex, plans to play the music in an illegal FM broadcast and will "strategically place" half a dozen radios around the banks of Loch Ness where he believes the spirit of the monster will be listening

The date is being kept secret because of the illegal nature of the broadcast. The songs haven't yet been chosen but will all have a monster theme tune.

Mr Carlyon has been involved in a series of strange events on the loch over the years.

He said: "I believe the monster is a spirit that lives in the loch. By transmitting the songs via the pirate radio transmission, the spirit, which I believe is telepathic, will pick up on it and hopefully stir into life.

He added: "I've got over 30 years experience in pirate radio, and I'm confident we'll be able to do this without many problems

"The hits will be broadcast on 106.8FM for 20 miles in each direction. We won't be asking people to come along to the broadcast, for obvious reasons, but we also hope to broadcast it over the Internet."

A ritual to actually summon the spirit of the Loch Ness Monster to the surface will be carried out after the broadcast.

Mr Carlyon said: "The radio broadcast will hopefully stir the monster into awakening but the ritual will be done on the beach later that evening, or the next morning."

It has been a quiet year so far for sightings of the elusive Nessie, but a local business operator said: "At least he may cause a ripple at the end of the tourist season."

Possible songs to summon Nessie:

1. Monster - The Automatic

2. Monster Mash - Bobby "Boris" Pickett

3. Monster - Lady GaGa

4. Monster - Steppenwolf

5. Water Beastie - Sensational Alex Harvey Band

6. Loch Ness - Some Velvet Sidewalk

7. Ol'e Nessie - Mastodon

8. Monster - Skillet

9. Monster - Meg & Dia

10. Beautiful Monster - Ne-Yo

11. Monster - REM

12. Daydream in Blue - I Monster

13. The Monster is Loose - Meat Loaf

14. The Boogy Monster - Gnarls Barkley

15. My beloved Monster – Eels

Do you have a song you think Nessie might like? Then let the news team know by leaving a comment on our facebook page.

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